Wednesday, 19 October 2016

As we actually are, we do nothing and are aware of nothing other than ourself

In several comments on one of my recent articles, What is the ‘self’ we are investigating when we try to be attentively self-aware?, a friend called Ken wrote:
Note that the Self is what is watching the movie [...] (4 September 2016 at 17:45)

[...] the ego is actually the Self in another form. (4 September 2016 at 23:27)

The Self is God [...] The Lila (play) of the Self (Brahman/Atman) is that it “veils” itself so it itself thinks it is limited. As “veiled”, it is watching the movie. When it decides to stop watching the movie, and the lights go on, it then sees it is actually the Self. Hence “Self-” “realisation”, i.e. realizing that it is the Self. (5 September 2016 at 04:16)

The ego stops giving attention to “2nd person and 3rd person”, i.e. sense perceptions and thoughts. The Self sees this and if it is convinced of complete sincerity, then it terminates the ego (this is the “action of Grace performed by the Self” according to Ramana — paraphrased). [...] since the Self IS your own basic awareness, then it is entirely aware of everything you have ever thought, said or done. (5 September 2016 at 04:26)

The Self (atman) is: The present moment [and] That which is looking. (7 September 2016 at 03:26)

This is what is called “The Play of Consciousness” (lila in Sanskrit). [...] The Self makes the “mistake” of identifying with a character in the world. (8 September 2016 at 02:09)

The Self definitely wants to see the movie, otherwise the movie would not even exist. (8 September 2016 at 17:49)

Because there is nothing other than the Self, so there is nothing that can force the Self to do anything. The Self is alone, so it decides to “veil” itself and limit itself as a multitude of “individuals”. This is the Lila, the play. (9 September 2016 at 00:04)
Ken, in these remarks you have attributed properties of our ego (and also properties of God) to ‘the Self’, which is ourself as we actually are, so in this article I will try to clarify that our actual self does not do anything and is neither aware of nor in any other way affected by the illusory appearance of our ego and all its projections, which seem to exist only in the self-ignorant view of ourself as this ego.

Wednesday, 12 October 2016

An explanation of the first ten verses of Upadēśa Undiyār

For nearly five years I have been editing notes I made in 1977 and 78 of useful ideas and explanations that I heard Sadhu Om telling me or other friends, and since April 2012 these have been serialised in each issue of The Mountain Path under the title ‘The Paramount Importance of Self-Attention’. Since the notes I made at that time were intended just to remind myself of some of the explanations Sadhu Om gave, they are too sketchy to publish as they are, so I have had to edit and elaborate them in order to make them more understandable and to represent more faithfully and in more detail the type of explanations and clarifications he used to give, so while editing them I have freely drawn on my memory of what he would generally say about each subject. Therefore the final edited form in which my notes are published in The Mountain Path does not record the exact words of Sadhu Om, but it does convey reasonably faithfully ideas that I remember him frequently expressing.

Recently while preparing the next instalment for the January 2017 issue I came across the notes I had made on 19th August 1978 of an explanation that Sadhu Om had given about the first ten verses of Upadēśa Undiyār, but as usual my notes were not very detailed and I could see that in some respects I had not accurately recorded what he used to explain about each of those verses, so I had to edit and elaborate them in order to convey what I remember him explaining about them on various occasions. Since in its final edited form this portion of my notes conveys quite clearly what he often used to explain about these verses, I decided to reproduce it here:

Thursday, 6 October 2016

God is not actually the witness of anything but the real substance underlying and supporting the illusory appearance of the witness and of everything witnessed by it

A friend wrote to me recently and asked me whether ‘the witnessing or observing consciousness within’ is the same as the ultimate ‘I’, referring in particular to the clause ‘he [God] exists within us as the witness of all our thoughts’ in the following passage of one of my earlier articles, Dhyāna-p-Paṭṭu: The Song on Meditation:
In accordance with this important teaching of Sri Ramana in verse 8 of Upadēśa Undiyār, in this song Sri Sadhu Om gently weans the minds of those who may consider God to be other than what they experience as ‘I’ away from that idea, firstly by emphasising that his real form is suddha-mauna-cit or ‘pure silent consciousness’ (verse 3); secondly by implying that he is the ‘one blissful substance’ that exists within our heart and that we can experience by seeking it with love (verse 4); thirdly by saying that only after we experience him within ourself will we be able to experience that everything that exists is him (verse 5); and fourthly by saying that he exists within us as the witness of all our thoughts, and that he will appear clearly within us only where and when all our thoughts subside (verse 6).
The following is what I wrote in reply to her question:

Tuesday, 4 October 2016

Why does the term ‘I am’ refer not just to our ego but to what we actually are?

In a comment on my previous article, ‘I am’ is the reality, ‘I am this’ or ‘I am that’ is the ego, a friend called Mouna raised several objections to what I had written in it, so in this article I will try to reply to his objections.

Sunday, 2 October 2016

‘I am’ is the reality, ‘I am this’ or ‘I am that’ is the ego

In a comment on my previous article, What is the ‘self’ we are investigating when we try to be attentively self-aware?, a friend called Viveka Vairagya quoted an extract from chapter 99 of I am That in which it is recorded that Nisargadatta Maharaj said, ‘Relax and watch the ‘I am’. Reality is just behind it’, which prompted another friend who wrote under the pseudonym ‘Extremely Simple’ to ask, ‘But why should reality be “just behind the ‘I am’”?’

Wednesday, 31 August 2016

What is the ‘self’ we are investigating when we try to be attentively self-aware?

In a comment that he wrote today on my previous article, Is it incorrect to say that ātma-vicāra is the only direct means by which we can eradicate our ego?, a friend called Viveka Vairagya wrote:
You say self-enquiry is nothing but “attentive self-awareness”. I get the “attentive” and “awareness” parts. I don’t get the “self” part coz all I am aware of now is my body and thoughts, including the “I-thought”. So, do you mean I should be attending to the awareness of “I-thought”? That could make sense coz it is kinda attending to the snake (I-thought) and finding lo and behold that it is a rope (self). So, why then don’t you say self-enquiry is “attentive I-thought-awareness”? I hope my doubt makes sense.
The following is my answer to this:

Sunday, 21 August 2016

Is it incorrect to say that ātma-vicāra is the only direct means by which we can eradicate our ego?

I began to write this article this morning as a comment in reply to one written by a friend called Roger on my previous article, Why is it so necessary for us to accept without reservation the fundamental principles of Bhagavan’s teachings?, but since my reply ran to more than two thousand words, I decided to post it as this article instead. The comment that I reply to here is the latest of many in which Roger argued that it is wrong for me and others to say that ātma-vicāra is the only direct means by which we can eradicate our ego, because he believes that making such a claim is egotistical and competitive, so my aim here is to explain why I believe that we are justified in making this claim on the basis of the fundamental principles of Bhagavan’s teachings.

Saturday, 13 August 2016

Why is it so necessary for us to accept without reservation the fundamental principles of Bhagavan’s teachings?

In a comment on my previous article, The observer is the observed only when we observe ourself alone, a friend called Sivanarul wrote: ‘Only in things pertaining to phenomenal world, one can say there is a direct or indirect method that applies to everyone (For example, reaching from point A from point B). In the spiritual journey, there is no direct or indirect method that applies to everyone. The very usage of direct or indirect is simply a play of the ego that has assumed a spiritual identity and to satisfy its need for superiority, it must label its method as the “direct” method. (Jnanis and/or saints saying that, is very different, since they are promoting the way they attained the goal in this life. Also when they promote it, they are very careful to tailor the promotion based on the seeker)’. This article is my answer to these contentious ideas.

Monday, 1 August 2016

The observer is the observed only when we observe ourself alone

In a recent comment on one of my earlier articles, ‘Observation without the observer’ and ‘choiceless awareness’: Why the teachings of J. Krishnamurti are diametrically opposed to those of Sri Ramana, a friend called Zubin wrote:
I read a lot of Krishnamurti when younger, and I do agree that his approach may have been unnecessarily complicated.

Krishnamurti focused on self-exploration of one’s mind. If you are angry, dissect it to find out what is deeper than it, etc. In effect, you would be looking at all the little adjuncts of the ego to see each one as false.

But ultimately, Krishnamurti’s main theme was “The Observer is the Observed”, which he repeated frequently.

So, in that sense, there is no difference in Krishnamurti’s ultimate teaching and Ramana’s. When you do self-enquiry you are Self looking at Self. When you are looking at the feeling of I AM, the looker is also that same I AM feeling, or, in other words, the observer is the observed.
The following is my reply to him:

Sunday, 17 July 2016

If we are able to be steadily self-attentive, where do we go from here?

A friend wrote to me explaining how he is practising self-investigation and asked, ‘Where do I go from here?’ The following is what I wrote in reply to him.

When you write, ‘I seem to be “witnessing” or aware of the I am thought all the time now’, what exactly do you mean by ‘the I am thought’? The reason I ask is that people tend to objectify everything, so some people assume that the I-thought is some sort of object that one can watch, but the term ‘I-thought’ is just another name for the ego, which is not an object but the subject, the one who is aware of all objects. Therefore what we need to watch or ‘witness’ is not any object but only ourself, the subject (the ego or thought called ‘I’).

Wednesday, 13 July 2016

Asparśa yōga is the practice of not ‘touching’ or attending to anything other than oneself

In a comment on my previous article, Names and forms are all just thoughts, so we can free ourself from them only by investigating their root, our ego, a friend called Roger cited extracts from two verses of Māṇḍūkya Kārikā, namely 3.44 and 3.46, saying that the practice Gaudapada describes in them is similar to what he is practising, and after writing some reflections on this practice he invited me or anyone else to comment on what he had written, so this article is my response to his invitation and is therefore addressed to him.

Saturday, 2 July 2016

Names and forms are all just thoughts, so we can free ourself from them only by investigating their root, our ego

A friend recently sent me a long email in which she began by saying, ‘The ego generates words in consciousness. The ego presents in consciousness as streams of words which form the so-called “stream of consciousness”’, and then went on to express her reflections on this idea, saying for example, ‘We all know how the mind races at times with endless streams of words which form thoughts of countless subjects, fears, hopes, memories, etc.’, and ‘Language forms words into thoughts, objects, events, time, space, memories, etc. creating the dream of a populated earth in a vast universe’, and she explained how she tries to apply such ideas in her practice of self-investigation (ātma-vicāra). The following article is my reply to her.

Wednesday, 22 June 2016

When can there be total recognition that the world is unreal?

A friend recently wrote to me, ‘Could you tell me whether realisation would be like deep sleep with no world present or would there still be a world but with total recognition that it is unreal. I feel driven to understand but seem to be going round in circles’, to which I replied:

Sunday, 19 June 2016

What is ‘the I-feeling’, and do we need to be ‘off the movement of thought’ to be aware of it?

In a comment on one of my recent articles, How to attend to ourself?, a friend called Viveka Vairagya wrote, ‘I think I have finally been able to figure out the I-feeling or “I am” feeling. It seems to be nothing but the inner sense of awareness (or consciousness or being)/self-awareness one has when one is off the movement of thought, correct?’ There are several points in this statement that need to be clarified, so this article is addressed to Viveka Vairagya and will seek to provide more clarity on this subject.

Wednesday, 8 June 2016

Can our mind be too strong for our actual self to dissolve it completely?

In a comment on one of my recent articles, We can separate ourself permanently from whatever is not ourself only by attending to ourself alone, a friend called Viswanathan cited an extract from an interview in which David Godman said, “This is a key part of Bhagavan’s teachings: the Self can only destroy the mind when the mind no longer has any tendency to move outwards. While those outward-moving tendencies are still present, even in a latent form, the mind will always be too strong for the Self to dissolve it completely”. Citing the final sentence from this statement an anonymous friend wrote another comment in which he asked: “David Godman, did you say ‘mind stronger than the Self’? I can’t get this. Is ‘the Self’ (our essential self) waiting for the mind to grow weaker so that it can dissolve it completely? How then was the partial dissolution taking place till then? Further, why did not the mind, while strong, dissolve ‘the Self’, if it all boils down to strong dissolving weak?” Since I doubt whether David would have read these questions, in this article I will reply on his behalf, though I may do so in somewhat different terms than he would.

Monday, 6 June 2016

Why should we rely on Bhagavan to carry all our burdens, both material and spiritual?

In a comment on my previous article, What is the logic for believing that happiness is what we actually are?, a friend called Sandhya wrote, “I remember reading in some book, where Bhagavan said, ‘don’t take all the burden on yourself, but transform all that to God’ using train/luggage carried by us analogy. If all the burden was created by the ego and if God is aware of not the ego nor the burden, how can one rely on God to carry the burden?”, so this article is my reply to her.

Tuesday, 31 May 2016

What is the logic for believing that happiness is what we actually are?

In a comment on my previous article, How to attend to ourself?, a friend called Sundar referred to my reply to his previous comment and wrote, ‘You have not explained the logic by which you say that we can get infinite peace and happiness when we manage to be attentively aware of ourself alone’, and regarding Bhagavan’s argument that we can understand that happiness is our real nature because in sleep we are perfectly happy just being aware of nothing other than ourself, he objected, ‘I can only be certain of having had a sleep with dreams. Because I can recall some of these dreams in the morning. But, I can not be sure of even having had a dreamless sleep. Hence, I can not speak of a ‘perfectly happy’ time during the dreamless sleep’. This article is therefore addressed to him in reply to this comment of his.

Wednesday, 25 May 2016

How to attend to ourself?

In a comment on my previous article, We can separate ourself permanently from whatever is not ourself only by attending to ourself alone, a friend called Chinmay Shah wrote, ‘I just wanted to know some practical methods/techniques by which one can attend to the self. I have read the 7th & 8th chapter of Path of Ramana - part 1, & understood that self attention is indeed the only way towards being SELF. But it would be really helpful, if some simple practical methods/techniques are given wherein any one who reads all this can really pay attention to the SELF practically’, so this article is addressed to him in reply to this.

Tuesday, 17 May 2016

We can separate ourself permanently from whatever is not ourself only by attending to ourself alone

In a recent comment on one of my old articles, Ātma-vicāra and the ‘practice’ of nēti nēti, a friend called Roger tried to explain why he considers that ātma-vicāra (self-investigation) and nēti nēti (which literally means ‘not thus, not thus’, ‘not so, not so’ or ‘not like this, not like this’, and which is generally considered to be the practice of meditating on the idea that the body, mind and other adjuncts that we mistake to be ourself are not ourself) are both ‘entirely valid and have the same potential’, and that nēti nēti is ‘one method of keeping attention fixed on “I”’, one among ‘multiple other such methods’, so this article is my reply to him.

Sunday, 8 May 2016

The ego is the thinker, not the act of thinking

In a comment on my previous article, The person we seem to be is a form composed of five sheaths, a friend called Ann Onymous wrote, ‘Ego is the very thinking that there is, or even seems to be an ego’, but this is confusing an action with the actor, mistaking the former (the thinking) to be the latter (the thinker). Thinking that there is an ego or that there is no ego, that it actually exists or just seems to exist, or thinking any other thought about it or about anything else cannot be the ego, because thinking is an action, whereas the ego is the thinker, the one who does that action.

If the ego were the act of thinking, we could investigate it simply by observing our thinking, which is obviously not the case. To investigate this ego we must ignore all thinking and observe only the thinker, the one who is aware of thinking and of the thoughts produced by thinking. Therefore it is necessary for us to clearly distinguish the thinker from its thinking, and also from whatever it thinks.

Thursday, 5 May 2016

The person we seem to be is a form composed of five sheaths

In a pair of comments that I wrote in reply to some other comments on my previous article, Self-investigation (ātma-vicāra) entails nothing more than just being persistently and tenaciously self-attentive, I explained:
What is a person? It is a set of phenomena centred around a particular body, and it has both physical and mental features. Though its physical and mental features change over time, however extreme those changes may be we identify it as the same person because it is the same body that displays those changing features. It starts its life as a baby, and it may end it as an old man or woman, but throughout its life and in spite of all its changes it is the same person. As we all know, there seem to be many people in this world, and each of them seem to be sentient, but what makes them seem to be so?

Friday, 8 April 2016

Self-investigation (ātma-vicāra) entails nothing more than just being persistently and tenaciously self-attentive

In a comment on my previous article, Why is it necessary to make effort to practise self-investigation (ātma-vicāra)?, a friend called Pachaiamman referred to the first section of it, We must practise ātma-vicāra for as long as it takes to destroy all our viṣaya-vāsanās (in which I had cited extracts from the sixth, tenth and eleventh paragraphs of Nāṉ Yār?), and asked:
May I give a short description what happens in my poor experience of practising self-investigation in the following passage: The attentiveness with which one investigates what one is has to be accomplished by the ego. The ego is a bundle of thoughts. So attentiveness is also a thought. The attentive thought ‘who am I’ is entrusted to try to extinguish/erase other rising thoughts and simultaneously or after that to investigate to whom they have occurred. It is clear that it is to me. By further investigation ‘who am I’, I do not clearly recognize if the mind subsided or returned to its birthplace, that is myself. Because the same (my) attentiveness has to manage to refuse the spreading/developing of other thoughts (without giving room [place/field] to other thoughts) and rather eliminate them, other thoughts are on my mind well waiting for refusal of their completion. Thus I am far away from grabbing the opportunity that the thought ‘who am I’ itself is destroyed in the end (like the fire-stir-stick). What is wrong in my strategy or where I am on the wrong track?
The following is my reply to this:

Thursday, 24 March 2016

Why is it necessary to make effort to practise self-investigation (ātma-vicāra)?

In two comments on one of my recent articles, Why should we believe what Bhagavan taught us?, a friend who writes under the pseudonym ‘Viveka Vairagya’ quoted extracts from the teachings of HWL Poonja (who is referred to as ‘Papaji’ by his devotees) as recorded on the Satsang with Papaji website, in both of which he expressed ideas that directly contradict the teachings of Bhagavan. In one of these extracts Poonja said regarding sleep, ‘This is a dull state because there is no awareness at all so you may not recognize it. In deep sleep you forget yourself completely’, which contradicts what Bhagavan taught us about sleep, as I explained in the fourteenth and fifteenth sections of my previous article, We are aware of ourself while asleep, so pure self-awareness alone is what we actually are, and in both of these extracts he contradicted in several ways what Bhagavan taught us about the practice of self-investigation (ātma-vicāra), as I will explain in this article.

Wednesday, 16 March 2016

We are aware of ourself while asleep, so pure self-awareness alone is what we actually are

In many of my articles in this blog, including my most recent one, The role of logic in developing a clear, coherent and uncomplicated understanding of Bhagavan’s teachings (particularly in sections six and twelve), I have written about Bhagavan’s teaching that we are aware of ourself while asleep, but it is such a crucial aspect of his teachings that I do not hesitate to write about it repeatedly, because it is a concept that many people seem to have difficulty grasping, and because thinking about it deeply and understanding it clearly is an extremely valuable aid to us in our practice of self-investigation (ātma-vicāra). In fact, until we are able to recognise clearly that we are aware of ourself even when we are aware of nothing else whatsoever, as in sleep, while trying to investigate ourself we will not be able to distinguish our fundamental self-awareness from our awareness of all other things, including our body and mind.

Sunday, 28 February 2016

The role of logic in developing a clear, coherent and uncomplicated understanding of Bhagavan’s teachings

In my previous article, Why should we believe what Bhagavan taught us?, particularly in the first nine sections, I discussed the logic that he used in order to explain to us why we should believe the fundamental principles of his teachings, which prompted several friends to write comments asking for further clarification or expressing their own views about this subject. Therefore in this article I will start in the first five sections by reproducing and expanding upon the replies that I wrote to such comments written by a friend called Wittgenstein, and then in the next seven sections I will reply to two of the comments written by another friend called Venkat.

Monday, 8 February 2016

Why should we believe what Bhagavan taught us?

In a comment on my previous article, Why do I believe that ātma-vicāra is the only direct means by which we can eradicate the illusion that we are this ego?, a friend called Maya explained why he was not convinced by what I wrote in it, so this article started off as a reply to some of the ideas he expressed in that comment. However when I began to discuss the logical reasons that Bhagavan gave us to explain why we should believe the fundamental principles of his teachings, this led to a series of reflections on aspects of his teachings that Maya did not refer to, so this article has developed into being more than just a direct reply to what he wrote in his comment.

Wednesday, 6 January 2016

Thursday, 10 December 2015

Thought of oneself will destroy all other thoughts

In a comment on my previous article, Is there more than one way in which we can investigate and know ourself?, a friend called Venkat wrote:
Given that the ego/mind is non-existent, and just a thought that pass across the screen of consciousness, what is it that choose to be attentively self-aware? Pure consciousness just is, and the body/mind/world are just thoughts/perceptions that flow across that screen. So the thought to be attentively self-aware is just another thought on that screen. I am struggling what is it that then directs attention. Apologies if I’m not being very clear.
When I read this comment, I noted it as one that I should reply to, but it soon led to a thread of more than thirty comments in which other friends responded to and discussed what he had written, so in this article (which has eventually grown into an extremely long one) I will reply both to this comment and to a few of the ideas expressed in other comments in that thread, and also to many later comments on that article that were not directly connected to what Venkat had written but that are nevertheless relevant to this crucial subject of self-investigation (ātma-vicāra).

Tuesday, 17 November 2015

Is there more than one way in which we can investigate and know ourself?

A friend recently sent me an email in which he asked:
I had mentioned to you that in my view there appear to be three different approaches to self-investigation, i) self-enquiry, which involves asking who am I and going to the root of the I thought, ii) meditating on I am, excluding the arising of any thought, and concentrating on I am, and iii) trying to notice the gap between two thoughts, expanding the gap, and being without any thought, summa iru. You had replied that these are not three different approaches but constitute only one approach. Could you please elaborate your comment?
This article is adapted from the reply that I wrote to him.

Wednesday, 11 November 2015

Sleep is our natural state of pure self-awareness

In the first comment on my previous article, What happens to our mind in sleep?, an anonymous friend wrote: ‘It cannot be correct that we experience ourselves in sleep and mind is absent. If that were true, everyone is realized during sleep. And once realized, he does not come back to the world. That is why it is said that the mind is in the dormant state. The I thought exists in its primitive form’.

As this anonymous friend wrote, this seemingly common sense reasoning is why it is generally said that our mind or ego exists in sleep in a dormant condition (known as the kāraṇa śarīra or ānandamaya kōśa), but such reasoning oversimplifies the issue, failing to recognise not only some important nuances but also some fairly obvious flaws in its own arguments. Let us therefore consider this issue in greater depth in order to see whether we can understand Bhagavan’s teachings in this regard more clearly.

Tuesday, 3 November 2015

What happens to our mind in sleep?

A couple of months ago a friend called Vilcomayo wrote a comment on one of my earlier articles, Our memory of ‘I’ in sleep, in which he or she asked, ‘what exactly means “absence of the mind” in sleep? In a state in which our mind is/was absent or subsided, does/did the mind “go” to any other place or does/did it rather subside in its source?’, and today he or she wrote another comment reminding me about this question.

Before replying to this question I would first like to apologise to Vilcomayo for not replying earlier. I receive so many questions by email and in comments on this blog that I am unfortunately not able to reply to all of them immediately, and if I cannot reply to any of them soon enough they tend to join the large backlog of hundreds of questions that I have not yet had time to reply to and may never have time to do so. Therefore, Vilcomayo, you are perfectly justified in reminding me about your question, and I apologise not only to you but also to all the other friends whose questions I have not been able to reply to yet.

What happens to our mind in sleep is not actually an easy question to answer, because it is a question asked from the perspective of waking or dream, the two states in which this mind seems to exist, about sleep, which is the state in which it does not seem to exist. According to Bhagavan the mind does not actually exist even when it seems to exist, so the correct answer is that nothing happens to the mind in sleep, because there is no mind to which anything could ever happen.

Saturday, 31 October 2015

The logic underlying the practice of self-investigation (ātma-vicāra)

In a comment on my previous article, Self-investigation (ātma-vicāra) is just the simple practice of trying to be attentively self-aware, an anonymous friend asked, ‘Does this practice work?’ and went on to explain why he or she asked this question, saying, ‘There are so many Gurus each offering a unique method — a method that might have worked for them. The real question is does it work for others? Michael, from your writings I gather you have been practicing this for more than two decades (?). What is your realization so far? Have you been able to achieve what Bhagavan describes? Honestly, if the answer is no, then I will be very skeptical of this method’.

Monday, 19 October 2015

Self-investigation (ātma-vicāra) is just the simple practice of trying to be attentively self-aware

This article is adapted from the replies that I wrote to two emails written by a friend called Ladislav asking for advice on how to practise self-investigation (ātma-vicāra).

First reply

In his first email Ladislav wrote:
My issue: still I can’t feel ‘I’ or my self. I also tried to repeat in my mind the word ‘I’ or ‘I am’, but still I have not succeeded (i.e. I don’t feel anything other than before. I don’t feel myself). I don’t look for sensation but I seek sense of self. Please can you advise me, what do I do to know feeling self?
In reply to this I wrote:

When you say ‘I can’t feel I’, are there two ‘I’s, one of which cannot feel the other? Are you not always just one ‘I’? Are you not always self-aware? Are you not always aware that ‘I am’? There is nothing more to know than this.

Monday, 12 October 2015

Why is it necessary to be attentively self-aware, rather than just not aware of anything else?

A friend recently wrote to me asking:
I have a question if attention has to be drawn (intentionally) to the self, or is it enough if I just remain as I am, surrendering the filthy ego to God? No “fixing the mind into self”, nor “looking for the source” or “I-thought”, but just remaining?
I wrote a brief reply, and he replied asking some further questions, so this article is adapted from the two replies I wrote to him.

Wednesday, 23 September 2015

We ourself are what we are looking for

A friend wrote to me recently:
I am still struggling with understanding the concept of ‘Who am I’. Am I looking for that which existed before my body and mind came into this existence, i.e. emptiness/fullness etc.? Do I explore the personal ‘I’ and from where it arose? I understand that I am that source from which the body came into the dream but when I explore it there is nothing there and I cannot feel the love that is supposed to be the real me. Also why is the dream of life so unpleasant when it has come from a source of love? What is the point of the dream? I find it frightening and I worry so much about the animals/the environment and I feel such pain. Why would the self create such a dream?
In reply I wrote:

Yes, we are looking for that which existed before our body and mind came into existence, but that exists not only then but also now and always, because it is what we actually are, so since we cannot go back in time we must find it here and now.

Tuesday, 22 September 2015

Self-knowledge is not a void (śūnya)

In a comment on one of my recent articles, The term nirviśēṣa or ‘featureless’ denotes an absolute experience but can be comprehended conceptually only in a relative sense, a friend called Bob asked several questions concerning the idea of a void, blank or nothingness and expressed his fear of such an idea. He started by asking why all we can now remember about what we experienced in deep sleep is a blank, or rather why we cannot remember anything at all except that we existed, and he suggested, ‘Is this because the illusory dualistic knowing consciousness [our mind or ego] cannot conceive the real non-dual being consciousness[?]’. He then went on to say, ‘I would be lying to you if I said that surrendering myself […] isn’t scary. It is very scary as I am scared of dissolving into the unknown. It is like letting go of the cliff and falling into nothingness, the complete unknown … the cold empty void’, but then asked, ‘is it more accurate to say that myself as I really am, the infinite non dual being consciousness that experiences everything as itself, is not a mere blank void or cold nothingness but is just a reality completely beyond the conceptualisation of my limited dualistic egoic mind[?]’, and added, ‘This seems to make letting go less scary as I am not falling into a cold empty void at all’.

To clarify what he was trying to express he also asked several other questions such as ‘is it right to say the non-dual infinite being consciousness is not a blank void of nothingness, it is just a reality beyond what the limited mind can understand so it appears a blank when tried to be recollected from the illusory dualistic waking state[?]’ and ‘is it right to say when I experience myself as I really am with perfect clarity of self-awareness this previous seeming blank empty nothingness / void I once linked to deep sleep will now be the one true reality as waking & dream would have dissolved into it and the deep sleep state will now be all there ever was / has been[?] The veil of lack of clarity would have been lifted for ever’, before finally expressing his hope that ‘this once seeming cold empty blank void perception of the deep sleep state will not be so but in contrast it will be a reality of pure bliss ... pure happiness of being where I experience everything as myself .. it won’t be cold empty void at all’.

This article is therefore an attempt to reassure Bob that the experience of true self-knowledge is not as scary as it may seem, and that it is something way beyond any idea that our finite mind may have of it.

Saturday, 29 August 2015

What is meditation on the heart?

In a comment on one of my recent articles, By attending to our ego we are attending to ourself, a friend called Viswanathan quoted the following passage from chapter 13 of Reflections on Talks with Sri Ramana Maharshi by S. S. Cohen:
Now we turn to the positive side of the question, whether meditation on the Heart is possible. Bhagavan declares it to be possible, but not in the form of investigation, as it is done when the ‘I’ is the subject. Meditation on the Heart must be a special meditation, provided the meditator takes the Heart to be pure consciousness and has at least, an intuitive knowledge of what pure consciousness is. Only that meditation succeeds which has this intuitive knowledge, and is conducted with the greatest alertness, so that the moment thoughts cease, the mind perceives itself in its own home — the Heart itself. This is certainly more difficult to do than to investigate into the source of the ‘I’, because it is a direct assault on, rather direct contact with, the very source itself. It is no doubt the quickest method, but it exacts the greatest alertness and the most concentrated attention, denoting a greater adhikara (maturity).
This passage is the later half of Cohen’s commentary on the following passage from section 131 of Talks with Sri Ramana Maharshi (2006 edition, page 119):
D.: There are said to be six organs of different colours in the chest, of which the heart is said to be two finger-breadths to the right of the middle line. But the Heart is also formless. Should we then imagine it to have a shape and meditate on it?

M.: No. Only the quest “Who am I?” is necessary. What remains all through deep sleep and waking is the same. But in waking there is unhappiness and the effort to remove it. Asked who wakes up from sleep you say ‘I’. Now you are told to hold fast to this ‘I’. If it is done the eternal Being will reveal Itself. Investigation of ‘I’ is the point and not meditation on the heart-centre. There is nothing like within or without. Both mean either the same thing or nothing.

Of course there is also the practice of meditation on the heart-centre. It is only a practice and not investigation. Only the one who meditates on the heart can remain aware when the mind ceases to be active and remains still; whereas those who meditate on other centres cannot be so aware but infer that the mind was still only after it becomes again active.

Saturday, 22 August 2015

‘That alone is tapas’: the first teachings that Sri Ramana gave to Kavyakantha Ganapati Sastri

In the comments on one of my recent articles, Can we experience what we actually are by following the path of devotion (bhakti mārga)?, a friend argued that self-investigation (ātma-vicāra) is a two-stage process, and though I tried to explain in my latest article, Trying to distinguish ourself from ego is what is called self-investigation (ātma-vicāra), that it is actually a single seamless process with no distinct stages, various friends have continued discussing this idea, and at one point this discussion branched off into a discussion about the reliability of what is recorded in the ‘Talks’ section of Sat-Darshana Bhashya, which prompted me to explain (here, here and here) why I generally do not consider anything written or recorded by Kavyakantha Ganapati Sastri or Kapali Sastri to be reliable.

Since discussion of these two separate subjects continued side by side for a while, in one comment a friend called Wittgenstein suggested that it would be useful to consider the first teaching that Bhagavan gave to Kavyakantha in order to see whether he gave any indication at that time that ātma-vicāra is a two-stage process. Wittgenstein concluded that there was no such indication, but asked me to correct him if he had drawn any wrong conclusions from that teaching, so this article is written in reply to him.
  1. The two replies that Bhagavan gave to Kavyakantha
  2. The implication of Bhagavan’s first reply
  3. The practice of self-investigation entails nothing but attentively observing ourself
  4. The implication of Bhagavan’s second reply
  5. Upadēśa Undiyār verse 30: experiencing what remains when ego dissolves is tapas
  6. Guru Vācaka Kōvai verse 706: a paraphrase of Bhagavan’s second reply
  7. Upadēśa Taṉippākkaḷ verse 14: Bhagavan’s condensation of verse 706 of Guru Vācaka Kōvai
1. The two replies that Bhagavan gave to Kavyakantha

Kavyakantha Ganapati Sastri had been living in Tiruvannamalai on and off since 1903, so he had known about Bhagavan since then, but he did not feel any particular interest in him until one day in 1907. On that day, 18th November, he was feeling dejected, because in spite of practising mantra-japa (repetition of sacred words) and other forms of tapas (religious austerity or spiritual practice) for many years he had not achieved any of his ambitions, so he suddenly felt inspired to approach Bhagavan and ask him for guidance. Finding him sitting alone outside Virupaksha cave, where he was then living, Kavyakantha prostrated to him and said something to the effect: ‘I have studied all the Vedas and numerous other books; I have done countless crores of mantra-japa; I have fasted and eaten very little; yet what is actually meant by ‘tapas’ is still not clear to me. Graciously explain to me what tapas really is’.

At first Bhagavan just kept quiet and silently gazed at Kavyakantha, but after about fifteen minutes Kavyakantha said: ‘I have read in books about such cakṣu-dīkṣā [initiation by sight] but I cannot grasp the truth that is taught thereby, so graciously explain verbally’. Bhagavan then said:
நான் நான் என்பது எங்கேயிருந்து புறப்படுகிறதோ அதைக் கவனித்தால், மனம் அங்கே லீனமாகும்; அதுவே தபஸ்.

nāṉ nāṉ eṉbadu eṅgēyirundu puṟappaḍugiṟadō adai-k gavaṉittāl, maṉam aṅgē līṉam-āhum; adu-v-ē tapas.

From where what says ‘I, I’ goes out, if one attentively observes that, there the mind will be dissolved; that alone is tapas.
However Kavyakantha was bewildered by the unfamiliarity of this teaching, so he asked, ‘Is it not possible to attain that state even by mantra-japa?’, to which Bhagavan replied:
ஒரு மந்திரத்தை ஜபம் பண்ணினால் அந்த மந்திரத்வனி எங்கேயிருந்து புறப்படுகிறது என்று கவனித்தால், மனம் அங்கே லீனமாகிறது; அதுதான் தபஸ்.

oru mantirattai japam paṇṇiṉāl anda mantira-dhvaṉi eṅgēyirundu puṟappaḍugiṟadu eṉḏṟu gavaṉittāl, maṉam aṅgē līṉam-āgiṟadu; adu-dāṉ tapas.

If one does japa of a mantra, if one attentively observes from where that mantra-sound goes out, there the mind is dissolved; that itself is tapas.
Let us now consider the meaning and implication of these two replies in more detail.

2. The implication of Bhagavan’s first reply

In the first of these two replies the phrase நான் நான் என்பது (nāṉ nāṉ eṉbadu), which means ‘what says I I’, denotes ego, because ego is the only form of ‘I’ that rises or goes out. In this phrase the repetition of நான் (nāṉ), which means ‘I’, refers to the fact that in both thought and speech ego repeatedly refers to itself as ‘I’, as Kavyakantha had done when saying ‘I have studied all the Vedas […] I have done crores of mantra-japa; I have fasted […]’.

எங்கேயிருந்து (eṅgēyirundu) means ‘from where’; புறப்படுகிறதோ (puṟappaḍugiṟadō) means ‘goes out’ or ‘starts out’; அதை (adai) is the accusative case form of அது (adu), which means ‘that’ or ‘it’; and கவனித்தால் (gavaṉittāl) is a conditional form of கவனி (gavaṉi), which is a transitive verb that means to observe or attend to, so கவனித்தால் (gavaṉittāl) means ‘if one attentively observes’. Thus ‘நான் நான் என்பது எங்கேயிருந்து புறப்படுகிறதோ அதைக் கவனித்தால்’ (nāṉ nāṉ eṉbadu eṅgēyirundu puṟappaḍugiṟadō adai-k gavaṉittāl) is a conditional clause that means: ‘from where what says I I goes out, if one attentively observes that’.

This conditional clause is followed by the main clause, ‘மனம் அங்கே லீனமாகும்’ (maṉam aṅgē līṉam-āhum), which means ‘there the mind will be dissolved’. மனம் (maṉam) means ‘mind’; அங்கே (aṅgē) is an intensified form of அங்கு (aṅgu), which means ‘there’, so it implies ‘in that very place’ or ‘in the very source from which ego rises’; லீனமாகும் (līṉam-āhum) is a compound of two words, லீனம் (līṉam), which means ‘melted’, ‘dissolved’, ‘absorbed’ or ‘swallowed up’, and ஆகும் (āhum), which means ‘will be’, so லீனமாகும் (līṉam-āhum) means ‘will be dissolved’.

Since that from which ego rises or goes out is only ourself, what Bhagavan describes in the conditional clause of this sentence is only the practice of self-investigation (ātma-vicāra), which is attentively observing ourself, the source from which we rise as ego, and what he describes in the main clause is the result of this practice, which is the complete dissolution of the mind along with its root, ego, in its source, which is ourself. Then in the concluding sentence of this first reply he says ‘அதுவே தபஸ்’ (adu-v-ē tapas), which means ‘that alone is tapas’.

Though tapas literally means ‘scorching’ or ‘burning’ and is generally used to mean any type of severe religious austerity or spiritual practice, what any form of tapas essentially entails is self-denial. Therefore according to Bhagavan real tapas is only the practice of ātma-vicāra, because this is the only means by which we can dissolve ego, and without the complete dissolution of ego we cannot really deny ourself. Any other form of self-denial is only a denial of what seems to be ‘mine’ but not a denial of what now seems to be ‘I’, namely ego.

Thus in this simple reply Bhagavan summarised the entire essence of his teachings, indicating clearly that the simple practice of being self-attentive or attentively self-aware is the only means by which we can dissolve ego back into ourself, the source from which it arose, and thereby remain as we really are.

3. The practice of self-investigation entails nothing but attentively observing ourself

As Wittgenstein wrote in his comment, there is absolutely no suggestion in this reply that ātma-vicāra entails more than one stage. In fact in this reply Bhagavan implies quite the opposite, namely that in order to dissolve ego in ourself we need do nothing else but try to attentively observe ourself.

Since we now experience ourself as this ego, which is a mixture of ourself and various adjuncts that we currently mistake ourself to be, when we begin trying to attentively observe ourself we will be observing ourself as this ego. However, so long as we understand that what we actually are is only pure self-awareness, which is the essence of this ego, what we will try to observe attentively is only our self-awareness and not any of the adjuncts with which it is now mixed, such as our body, and by thus trying to observe only our essential self-awareness we will gradually manage to separate this self-awareness and thereby experience it in complete isolation (kaivalya) from all our adjuncts.

This separation and isolation of ourself by keenly vigilant self-attentiveness is the only means by which ego and the rest of our mind can be dissolved back into ourself, because we seem to be this ego or mind only so long as we experience ourself mixed with any adjuncts. Therefore simple self-attentiveness is all that ātma-vicāra entails from beginning to end, so there is no stage in ātma-vicāra other than trying to be attentively self-aware as much as possible.

That is, by simply observing ego attentively as much as we can we will eventually succeed in dissolving it back into ourself, its source. No effort other than this is required, and indeed any effort other than this will only distract away us from attentively observing ourself alone.

4. The implication of Bhagavan’s second reply

What Bhagavan taught Kavyakantha in his second reply is essentially exactly the same as what he taught him in his first reply, because just as we ourself are the source from which we rise as this illusory ‘I’ called ego or mind, we are also the source from which everything else arises, including the sound of any mantra that we might be repeating, so attentively observing the source from which a mantra-sound goes out is the same as attentively observing the source from which we go out as this ego. Both entail only being vigilantly self-attentive.

In the second reply there are two conditional clauses, of which the first is a condition for the second, and the second is a condition for the result expressed in the main clause (which is the same as the result expressed in the main clause of the first reply). The first conditional clause is ‘ஒரு மந்திரத்தை ஜபம் பண்ணினால்’ (oru mantirattai japam paṇṇiṉāl), which means ‘if one does japa of a mantra’, except that மந்திரத்தை (mantirattai) is the accusative case form of மந்திரம் (mantiram), which is a Tamil form of the Sanskrit word मन्त्र (mantra), so it is the direct object of the conditional verb phrase ஜபம் பண்ணினால் (japam paṇṇiṉāl), which means ‘if one does japa’ or ‘if one does repetition’. However in English the verb phrase ‘do repetition’ cannot take a direct object, so we have to add the preposition ‘of’. Therefore we either have to translate this clause as ‘if one does japa of a mantra’, or in order to make ‘mantra’ a direct object, as it is in Tamil, we have to paraphrase the meaning of this clause simply as ‘if one repeats a mantra’.

The second conditional clause is ‘அந்த மந்திரத்வனி எங்கேயிருந்து புறப்படுகிறது என்று கவனித்தால்’ (anda mantira-dhvaṉi eṅgēyirundu puṟappaḍugiṟadu eṉḏṟu gavaṉittāl), which means ‘if one attentively observes from where that mantra-sound goes out’. In this context the term மந்திரத்வனி (mantira-dhvaṉi) or ‘mantra-sound’ does not literally mean a physical sound, because such a literal meaning would apply only in the case of japa done aloud and not in the case of japa done mentally, so we should take it figuratively to mean the ‘mental sound’ or thought of a mantra. That is, if we repeat a mantra in our mind we are mentally enunciating the sound of that mantra, so that mentally enunciated sound arises only in our mind, and the source from which it arises is the same source from which ego and everything else arises, namely ourself.

Therefore what Bhagavan implies in this clause is ‘if one attentively observes oneself, the source from which that mantra-sound goes out’. If we try to do this in practice, what will happen sooner or later is that our mental japa will cease, because we can do such japa only by attending to the thought of whatever mantra we are mentally repeating, so if we try to focus our entire attention on ourself, the source of that thought, the thought itself will thereby be prevented from rising.

However, this cessation of our japa does not matter, because if we are following Bhagavan’s instruction correctly, what is important is only that we attentively observe ourself. So long as we allow ourself to be attached to attending to the mantra, we will not be able to attentively observe its source steadily, because our attention will then be divided between the mantra and ourself, fluctuating back and forth between one and the other, so at best our self-attentiveness will only be partial. Therefore if we want to go deep into this practice of attentively observing from where the mantra-sound goes out, we have to be ready to let go of the mantra-sound in order to focus our entire attention on ourself, its source.

What will happen if we thus attentively observe from where the mantra-sound goes out is expressed by Bhagavan in the main clause of this sentence, ‘மனம் அங்கே லீனமாகிறது’ (maṉam aṅgē līṉam-āgiṟadu), which means, ‘there the mind is dissolved’. This is further evidence that he did not mean that we should continue clinging to the mantra or mantra-sound itself, because so long as we allow our mind to cling to anything other than ourself we will be preventing it from dissolving. It is only by our attending to ourself and ourself alone that our mind will dissolve back into ourself, its source.

As in the case of his first reply, in this reply after saying that our mind will dissolve in ourself if we attend to ourself he ends by saying, ‘அதுதான் தபஸ்’ (adu-dāṉ tapas), which means, ‘that itself is tapas’ or ‘that alone is tapas’. Thus what he implies in both of these replies is that real tapas is only the dissolution of our mind, which can be effected only by our attentively observing ourself, the source from which ego and all its thoughts arise.

5. Upadēśa Undiyār verse 30: experiencing what remains when ego dissolves is tapas

This idea is also expressed by him in verse 30 of Upadēśa Undiyār:
யானற் றியல்வது தேரி னெதுவது
தானற் றவமென்றா னுந்தீபற
     தானாம் ரமணேச னுந்தீபற.

yāṉaṯ ṟiyalvadu tēri ṉeduvadu
dāṉaṯ ṟavameṉḏṟā ṉundīpaṟa
     tāṉām ramaṇēśa ṉundīpaṟa
.

பதச்சேதம்: ‘யான் அற்று இயல்வது தேரின் எது, அது தான் நல் தவம்’ என்றான் தான் ஆம் ரமணேசன்

Padacchēdam (word-separation): ‘yāṉ aṯṟu iyalvadu tēriṉ edu, adu-dāṉ nal tavam’ eṉḏṟāṉ tāṉ ām ramaṇēśaṉ.

English translation: ‘What [state of egolessness is experienced] if one knows what remains after ‘I’ has ceased to exist, that alone is good tapas’: thus said Lord Ramana, who is ourself.
In this verse the phrase யான் அற்று இயல்வது (yāṉ aṯṟu iyalvadu), which literally means ‘I ceasing what remains’ or ‘I having ceased what remains’, and which therefore implies ‘what remains after I has ceased to exist’, denotes ourself (what we actually are), because we alone will remain when ego has dissolved and thereby ceased to exist. தேரின் (tēriṉ) means ‘if one knows’, and since knowing ourself, who alone will remain after ego has ceased, is the state of true self-knowledge or pure self-awareness, what is denoted by both the pronouns எது (edu, which means ‘what’) and அது (adu, which means ‘that’) is that pure self-awareness.

The suffix தான் (dāṉ) that is appended to அது (adu) is an intensifier, so அதுதான் (adu-dāṉ) means ‘that itself’ or ‘that alone’, which refers to the egoless self-awareness implied by the previous clause, ‘யான் அற்று இயல்வது தேரின்’ (yāṉ aṯṟu iyalvadu tēriṉ), ‘if one knows what remains after I has ceased to exist’. நற்றவம் (ṉaṯṟavam) or நல் தவம் (nal tavam) literally means ‘good tapas’, but since ‘good’ is an understatement in this context, what is implied by நல் (nal) or ‘good’ is excellent, genuine or real. Therefore what is implied by the main clause, ‘அது தான் நல் தவம்’ (adu-dāṉ nal tavam) or ‘that alone is good tapas’, is that real tapas is only the egoless self-awareness that alone will remain and be experienced after the annihilation of ego.

Thus the definition of tapas that Bhagavan gives in this verse closely parallels the definitions of it that he gave in his two replies to Kavyakantha, because in all these three cases he clearly implies that real tapas is only the state in which ego or mind has been completely dissolved and eradicated.

Like Kavyakantha, the so-called ‘rishis’ (ṛṣis) in the Daruka forest, to whom the teachings in Upadēśa Undiyār were addressed, were doing tapas for the fulfilment of their personal ambitions, so after weaning them away from their kāmya karmas (desire-motivated actions) by telling them that such actions cannot give liberation, then explaining to them the relative efficacy of a broad range of other practices, and then teaching them that the best of all practices is only self-investigation (ātma-vicāra), because it alone is the direct path to liberation, Bhagavan finally tells them that real tapas is only the egoless state of pure self-awareness that will alone remain as a result of the annihilation of ego by means of ātma-vicāra. However whereas this was the final teaching (upadēśa) that he as Lord Siva gave in ancient times to the ṛṣis in the Daruka forest, it was the first teaching that he gave to Kavyakantha Ganapati Sastri, thereby indicating to us that in his manifestation as Sadguru Ramana he would not beat around the bush but would from the very outset guide his devotees onto the direct path of ātma-vicāra.

Though both the ṛṣis in the Daruka forest and Kavyakantha had been doing tapas for the fulfilment of their personal ambitions, we should not think that they are very different to us, because like them we each have our own desires and trivial aspirations that we hope to fulfil. So long as we experience ourself as this ego, we cannot completely avoid having desires, because desire and attachment to things other than ourself is the very nature of ego. If we aspire to experience ourself as we really are, we obviously need to try to minimise our other desires and aspirations as much as possible, but we cannot root them out entirely by any means other than persistent self-attentiveness.

That is, the root of all our desires and ambitions is only ego, so even if we manage to curb or reduce the intensity of some of our desires, other desires (perhaps more subtle or seemingly altruistic ones) will keep on sprouting as long as this ego survives. Therefore the only effective way to curb all desires, both long-established ones and newly sprouting ones, is to curb the rising of ego, which we can do only by attentively observing it as much as possible. So long as we allow ourself to be aware of anything other than ourself, we are giving ego freedom to rise, so we can restrict its freedom only by trying to be aware of ourself alone as much as we can.

We may consider our desires to be altruistic, as Kavyakantha no doubt did, but no matter how altruistic they may be, desires are desires, and they bind us to ego and all its adjuncts. Therefore if we are intent on rooting out ego, we have no option but to try to curb all our desires, even our seemingly most altruistic ones, by persevering in our effort to attentively observe ourself, the source from which ego arises along with all its desires. Thus at each moment of our life we are faced with a choice: whether to allow ourself to be drawn away by the outward-going flow of our desires, or to cling firmly to self-attentiveness. The extent to which we choose the latter option indicates the extent to which we have genuine love to experience ourself as we really are.

I can only speak for myself when I say that I know my own love to experience myself as I really am is woefully inadequate, so I am constantly carried away by the flow of my desires to experience things other than myself alone, but I suspect that most of us feel more or less the same. However, we should not despair, because however little effort we may make to be self-attentive, every attempt we make is a small step in the right direction, and Bhagavan has assured us (in the twelfth paragraph of Nāṉ Yār? and elsewhere) that if we persevere as much as we can we will certainly succeed sooner or later. He has given us the golden remedy, so if we yield ourself to him by trying to avail of it as much as possible, we can be sure that our small efforts to do so will unfailingly lead us to our destination. Therefore let us each continue trying to do our own little bit of tapas by attentively observing ourself, the source from which we have risen as this devilish and self-deceptive ego.

6. Guru Vācaka Kōvai verse 706: a paraphrase of Bhagavan’s second reply

In many biographies of Bhagavan, such as Self-Realisation (which was first published in 1931 and which being the earliest detailed biography became the basis for most subsequent ones), the reason why he gave his second reply to Kavyakantha is not clearly indicated, so he was often asked by devotees why he had done so, and he would then explain that he did so because after hearing his first reply Kavyakantha had asked him whether it is not possible to achieve the same state by doing mantra-japa. On one such occasion he elaborated on the inner meaning and implication of his second reply, and what he said then was summarised by Sri Muruganar in verse 706 of Guru Vācaka Kōvai:
யானென் றெழுமிடமே தென்னத்தந் நுண்ணறிவாம்
மோனத்தா லுண்மூழ்க மாட்டாதார் — மானதத்தாற்
பண்ணுஞ் செபத்திற் பராவாக்கு யாண்டிருந்து
நண்ணுமென் றாய்த னலம்.

yāṉeṉ ḏṟeṙumiḍamē deṉṉattan nuṇṇaṟivām
mōṉattā luṇmūṙka māṭṭādār — māṉadattāṟ
paṇṇuñ jepattiṯ parāvākku yāṇḍirundu
naṇṇumeṉ ḏṟāyda ṉalam
.

பதச்சேதம்: யான் என்று எழும் இடம் ஏது என்ன தம் நுண் அறிவு ஆம் மோனத்தால் உள் மூழ்க மாட்டாதர் மானதத்தால் பண்ணும் செபத்தில் பராவாக்கு யாண்டு இருந்து நண்ணும் என்று ஆய்தல் நலம்.

Padacchēdam (word-separation): yāṉ eṉḏṟu eṙum iḍam ēdu eṉṉa tam nuṇ aṟivu ām mōṉattāl uḷ mūṙka māṭṭādar māṉadattāl paṇṇum jepattil parāvākku yāṇḍu-irundu naṇṇum eṉḏṟu āydal nalam.

English translation: Those who are not able to sink within by silence, which is their sharp awareness, what the place is from which it rises as ‘I’, in japa done by mind investigating from where the supreme word approaches is good.

Explanatory paraphrase: Those who are not able to sink [or submerge] within by silence, in which their sharp [acute, refined or subtle] awareness [keenly investigates] what the place is from which it [ego] rises as ‘I’, in [or during] japa done by mind investigating from where parāvāk [the supreme word, speech or sound] approaches [begins to shine forth] is good.
The grammatical structure of this verse may be somewhat difficult to understand in English, because it is a single sentence in which the verbal noun ஆய்தல் (āydal), which means ‘investigating’, together with all that precedes it is the subject of the main clause, so the entire verse except the final word, நலம் (nalam), which means ‘good’, is a single noun phrase with ஆய்தல் (āydal) as its head. Within this noun phrase, the entire portion up to and including உள் மூழ்க மாட்டாதர் (uḷ mūṙka māṭṭādar), which means ‘those who are not able to sink within’, is another noun phrase and is the subject of the verbal noun ஆய்தல் (āydal), so the basic structure of this sentence is equivalent to saying in English ‘their investigating is good’, where ‘their’ represents the noun phrase ending with மாட்டாதர் (māṭṭādar), ‘those who are not able’, and ‘investigating’ represents the rest of the main noun phrase ending with ஆய்தல் (āydal). Though the basic structure is therefore quite simple, all the other words that form both the main noun phrase and the noun phrase embedded within it make this sentence seem rather difficult to understand without adequate explanation when it is translated accurately into English.

There are several useful ideas in this verse that were not explicit in the second reply that Bhagavan gave to Kavyakantha. Firstly the first noun phrase, ‘யான் என்று எழும் இடம் ஏது என்ன தம் நுண் அறிவு ஆம் மோனத்தால் உள் மூழ்க மாட்டாதர்’ (yāṉ eṉḏṟu eṙum iḍam ēdu eṉṉa tam nuṇ aṟivu ām mōṉattāl uḷ mūṙka māṭṭādar), which means ‘those who are not able to sink within by silence, in which their sharp awareness [keenly investigates] what the place is from which it rises as I’, indicates that what Bhagavan suggested in his second reply is an option that needs to be offered only to those who feel they are unable to silently subside within by investigating what the source is from which ego rises.

Another important point in this complex phrase is the simpler instrumental phrase ‘தம் நுண் அறிவு ஆம் மோனத்தால்’ (tam nuṇ aṟivu ām mōṉattāl), which means ‘by silence, which is their sharp [acute, refined or subtle] awareness’ and which therefore implies that the instrument by which we can investigate our source is silent and keenly focussed self-awareness or self-attentiveness.

In his second reply to Kavyakantha Bhagavan advised him to attentively observe from where the mantra-dhvaṉi or sound of the mantra arises, but in this verse he expresses the same idea in a slightly different way by saying ‘பராவாக்கு யாண்டு இருந்து நண்ணும் என்று ஆய்தல்’ (parāvākku yāṇḍu irundu naṇṇum eṉḏṟu āydal), which means ‘investigating from where parāvāk approaches’. பராவாக்கு (parāvākku) literally means ‘supreme word’ or ‘supreme sound’, and in verse 715 of Guru Vācaka Kōvai he indicates that what he means by this term is the silence that shines ‘I am I’ pervading the heart-space in which ego has been destroyed, so it is obviously not the same as the mantra-dhvaṉi but is the source from which the mantra-dhvaṉi arises, namely our own being, so Bhagavan’s instruction in both cases amounts to saying that we should attentively observe our being even while doing mantra-japa. Therefore his use of this term பராவாக்கு (parāvākku) in this verse is further evidence that what he meant by attentively observing from where the mantra-dhvaṉi arises is only attentively observing ourself.

Obviously to attentively observe ourself we do not need to do any japa, but if like Kavyakantha we are so habituated to doing japa that we are unwilling to give it up, Bhagavan suggested that even while doing japa we should attentively observe our own being, which is the parāvāk from which the mantra-sound arises. Therefore the essential import of the two replies that Bhagavan gave to Kavyakantha is that whether we do japa or not, what we should try to attend to is only ourself and not anything else.

Another useful idea in this verse is expressed by the words ‘மானதத்தால் பண்ணும் செபத்தில்’ (māṉadattāl paṇṇum jepattil), which mean ‘in [or during] japa done by mind’. In his second reply Bhagavan said ‘ஒரு மந்திரத்தை ஜபம் பண்ணினால்’ (oru mantirattai japam paṇṇiṉāl), which means ‘if one does japa of a mantra’, without specifying whether he was referring to oral japa or mental japa, but in this verse he indicates that it is preferable to interpret what he replied to Kavyakantha as referring to mental japa rather than oral japa. Of course we can also apply what he suggested in that reply to doing oral japa, but since he said in verse 6 of Upadēśa Undiyār that mental japa is more beneficial than oral japa, we can infer that what he replied to Kavyakantha can be more effectively applied while doing mental japa.

7. Upadēśa Taṉippākkaḷ verse 14: Bhagavan’s condensation of verse 706 of Guru Vācaka Kōvai

After composing the above verse of Guru Vācaka Kōvai Muruganar showed it to Bhagavan, as he always did whenever he composed any verse, particularly a verse of Guru Vācaka Kōvai, and rather than suggesting any correction or improvement, as he sometimes did, Bhagavan composed another verse in which he expressed the same idea in a more succinct manner. His verse is now included in Guru Vācaka Kōvai as verse B12 and in Upadēśa Taṉippākkaḷ as verse 14:
ஞானத்து ணானாருந் தானமுறார் வாக்பரையார்
தானந்தேர் தல்சபத்திற் சால்பு.

ñāṉattu ṇāṉārun thāṉamuṟār vākparaiyār
thāṉandēr taljapattiṯ cālpu
.

பதச்சேதம்: ஞானத்துள் ‘நான்’ ஆரும் தானம் உறார் வாக் பரை ஆர் தானம் தேர்தல் சபத்தில் சால்பு.

Padacchēdam (word-separation): ñāṉattuḷ ‘nāṉ’ ārum thāṉam uṟār vāk-parai ār thāṉam tērdal japattil sālbu.

அன்வயம்: ‘நான்’ ஆரும் தானம் ஞானத்துள் உறார் சபத்தில் வாக் பரை ஆர் தானம் தேர்தல் சால்பு.

Anvayam (words rearranged in natural prose order): ‘nāṉ’ ārum thāṉam ñāṉattuḷ uṟār japattil vāk-parai ār thāṉam tērdal sālbu.

English translation: Those who within jñāna do not reach the place where ‘I’ pervades, in japa investigating the place where parāvāk pervades is appropriate.

Explanatory paraphrase: Those who within [the path of] jñāna [namely the practice of self-investigation] cannot reach [and remain firmly fixed as] the place where ‘I’ pervades [namely sat-cit, pure being-awareness], in [or during] japa investigating [and knowing] the place where parāvāk [the supreme word, namely the infinite silence of pure being] pervades [which is the source from which the sound of the mantra arises] is appropriate.
The grammatical structure of this verse is basically the same as that of the verse of Guru Vācaka Kōvai that Bhagavan summarised in it, so the noun phrase ‘ஞானத்துள் நான் ஆரும் தானம் உறார்’ (ñāṉattuḷ nāṉ ārum thāṉam uṟār), which means ‘within jñāna do not reach the place where ‘I’ pervades’, is the subject of the noun phrase ending with the verbal noun தேர்தல் (tērdal) , which means ‘investigating’ or ‘knowing’ and which is in turn the subject of the main clause.

உறார் (uṟār) is a personal noun formed from the negative of the verb உறு (uṟu), which has a rich range of meanings including to be, exist, happen, occur, dwell, reside, be permanent, be stable, be attached to, be devoted to, love, join, associate with, touch, contact, move towards, approach, gain access to, reach, attain, perceive by touch, experience, suffer, think and resemble. The meaning of உறு (uṟu) or உறார் (uṟār) is therefore determined in each case by the context in which either of them is used. In this context உறார் (uṟār) means those who do not, will not or cannot steadily be, abide as, intimately experience, move towards, approach, gain access to, reach or attain, so ‘ஞானத்துள் நான் ஆரும் தானம் உறார்’ (ñāṉattuḷ nāṉ ārum thāṉam uṟār) means ‘those who within [the path of] jñāna [namely the practice of self-investigation] cannot reach [and remain firmly fixed as] the place where ‘I’ pervades’.

ஆர் (ār) is a verb that means to become full, spread over, pervade, be satisfied, abide, stay, experience or obtain, and ஆரும் (ārum) is a relative participle form of it, so நான் ஆரும் தானம் (nāṉ ārum thāṉam) means the place where (or in which) ‘I’ pervades, abides or is experienced. தானம் (thānam) is a Tamil form of the Sanskrit word स्थान (sthāna), which literally means a place (particularly a holy place) or a state of being fixed and stationary (being cognate with English words such as stand, state and static), but which is used here in a metaphorical sense to refer to ourself, the abode or static state that is filled only by ‘I’.

Likewise, வாக் பரை ஆர் தானம் (vāk-parai ār thāṉam) means the place where vāk-parai pervades, abides or is experienced, because ஆர் (ār) is used here to represent its relative participle, ஆரும் (ārum). வாக் பரை (vāk-parai) is an alternative form of the term பராவாக்கு (parāvākku), which Muruganar used in his verse, so it literally means the ‘word supreme’ or ‘supreme word’, and as we saw in the previous section, this is a term that Bhagavan used to describe ‘I’, the natural name of ourself, the supreme and only reality. Therefore, since வாக் பரை (vāk-parai) means நான் (nāṉ) or ‘I’, and since in practice investigating ‘I’ entails just experiencing and abiding as ‘I’ without rising to attend to anything else, ‘வாக் பரை ஆர் தானம் தேர்தல்’ (vāk-parai ār thāṉam tērdal) or ‘investigating [or knowing] the place where vāk-parai pervades [abides or is experienced]’ means exactly the same as ‘நான் ஆரும் தானம் உறுதல்’ (nāṉ ārum thāṉam uṟudal) or ‘abiding as [or intimately experiencing] the place where ‘I’ pervades [abides or is experienced]’.

Therefore the only difference between the practice that Bhagavan describes in each of these two noun phrases lies in the two words ஞானத்துள் (ñāṉattuḷ) and சபத்தில் (japattil). ஞானத்துள் (ñāṉattuḷ) literally means ‘within jñāna’ or ‘inside jñāna’, but in this context implies while practising self-investigation (ātma-vicāra), which alone is the path of jñāna, as taught by Bhagavan in verse 29 of Uḷḷadu Nāṟpadu, in which he says ‘உள் ஆழ் மனத்தால் நான் என்று எங்கு உந்தும் என நாடுதலே ஞான நெறி ஆம்’ (uḷ āṙ maṉattāl nāṉ eṉḏṟu eṅgu undum eṉa nāḍudalē ñāṉa-neṟi ām), which means ‘investigating by an inward sinking mind where it rises as I alone is the path of jñāna’. சபத்தில் (japattil) likewise means ‘in japa’, which in this context implies while practising japa, so what Bhagavan implies in this verse is simply that for those who think they cannot practise self-investigation on its own, it is appropriate to practise self-investigation while doing japa.

That is, for those who are accustomed to doing some action (karma) such as japa in the name of spiritual practice, just being silently and attentively self-aware may seem to be too abstract and may therefore not seem to be a spiritual practice at all, so for such people it can be helpful to continue doing japa (or whatever other such action they are used to doing) but at the same time trying to attentively observe themselves, the source from which japa or other such actions arise. By continuing to do whatever they are used to doing, they will maintain their impression that they are doing a spiritual practice, while at the same time by trying to be attentively self-aware they will be beginning to do a spiritual practice that is actually far more beneficial and efficacious than any action could ever be.

Thus in this verse Bhagavan clearly indicates that the practice he taught Kavyakantha in his second reply is essentially exactly the same practice of self-attentiveness that he taught him in his first reply. The only reason he worded his second reply as he did was because Kavyakantha had asked him whether he could not attain the same state by doing mantra-japa, so what Bhagavan implied in his second reply is that he could do so provided he tried to be self-attentive while doing his japa.

In other words, though both in his second reply and in this verse Bhagavan mentions doing japa as an optional extra, he makes it clear that whether or not we do japa, what is essential is only that we should try as much as possible to be self-attentive. To illustrate how we can apply this in practice without being distracted away from our main aim, which is only to be self-attentive, I will end by relating it to my own experience.

That is, I find it is useful occasionally to apply what he suggests in this verse in the following way: sometimes when my mind is engrossed in other thoughts and seems to have no interest or liking even to try to be self-attentive, to restore my interest I start to mentally repeat his name, ‘Ramana, Ramana, Ramana, Ramana’ (often in one of the tunes in which Sadhu Om used to sing it, which involves lengthening the final ‘a’ to make it vocative case, a prayerful call to him, just as he himself lengthened the final ‘a’ in ‘Arunachala’ at the end of each verse and the refrain of Akṣaramaṇamālai), and while doing so I try to be self-attentive. Using his name (or that of Arunachala) for this purpose is particularly appropriate and effective, because he taught us that he is in fact our own self and therefore shines eternally within us as ‘I’, so his name not only rekindles our devotion to him but also draws our attention back within to experience him as he really is. When I succeed in restoring my interest in being self-attentive by this means, the repetition of his name naturally subsides, because the more strongly our attention is drawn to ourself the less we need to or are able to pay any attention to doing japa.

Saturday, 15 August 2015

Trying to distinguish ourself from our ego is what is called self-investigation (ātma-vicāra)

In a comment on one of my earlier articles, Can we experience what we actually are by following the path of devotion (bhakti mārga)?, a friend called Shiba wrote about the practice of self-investigation (ātma-vicāra) as if it consists of two distinct stages, saying that to ‘concentrate on I-thought is preliminary stage’ and that the next stage is ‘real atma-vichara’, which begins ‘when our minds are fixed in Self’. In reply to this I wrote a comment in which I said:
Shiba, when you write in your first comment, “Atma is true Self. To fix attention on I-thought leads to Atma. Real atma-vichara begin when our minds are fixed in Self. I-thought is best clue to reach Atma and begin real atma-vichara. To concentrate on I-thought is preliminary stage and when other thoughts disappear and I-thought go back to the source (Atma), the next stage, real atma-vichara begin. I think those who can graduate from the preliminary stage are rare. I don’t know when I can graduate from the preliminary stage...”, you imply that ātma-vicāra consists of two distinct stages, and that only the second of these is ‘real atma-vichara’, but this is not actually the case.

Ātma-vicāra does not consist of any distinct stages, because it is a single process in which our self-attentiveness is progressively refined until we experience nothing other than ourself alone. Moreover ātman is ourself as we really are, whereas our ego or ‘I-thought’ is ourself as we now seem to be, so these are not two distinct things, but only one thing appearing differently. Since what we now experience as ourself is only our ego or ‘I-thought’ (which is a confused mixture of ourself and adjuncts), when we investigate ourself we are investigating ourself in the form of this ego, but as we focus our attention or awareness more and more keenly and exclusively on ourself, our ego subsides more and more, until eventually it will vanish in pure self-awareness, which is ourself as we really are (our real ātman).

Tuesday, 11 August 2015

What is cidābhāsa, the reflection of self-awareness?

In a comment on one of my recent articles, Can we experience what we actually are by following the path of devotion (bhakti mārga)?, an anonymous friend quoted a translation of verses 8 and 9 from Ātma-Vicāra Patikam (a song of eleven verses composed by Sri Sadhu Om about self-investigation, which is the first appendix in Sādhanai Sāram). What he wrote in verse 9 is:
நானெதென் றாய வஃது நலிவதற் கேதே தென்றால்
நானெனு மக விருத்தி ஞானத்தின் கிரண மாகும்
நானெனுங் கிரணத் தோடே நாட்டமுட் செல்லச் செல்ல
நானெனுங் கிரண நீள நசித்துநான் ஞான மாமே.

nāṉedeṉ ḏṟāya vaḵdu nalivadaṟ kēdē deṉḏṟāl
nāṉeṉu maha virutti ñāṉattiṉ kiraṇa māhum
nāṉeṉuṅ kiraṇat tōḍē nāṭṭamuṭ cellac cella
nāṉeṉuṅ kiraṇa nīḷa naśittunāṉ ñāṉa māmē
.

பதச்சேதம்: நான் எது என்று ஆய அஃது நலிவதற்கு ஏது ஏது என்றால், நான் எனும் அக விருத்தி ஞானத்தின் கிரணம் ஆகும். நான் எனும் கிரணத்தோடே நாட்டம் உள் செல்ல செல்ல, நான் எனும் கிரண நீளம் நசித்து நான் ஞானம் ஆமே.

Padacchēdam (word-separation): nāṉ edu eṉḏṟu āya aḵdu nalivadaṟku ēdu ēdu eṉḏṟāl, nāṉ eṉum aha-virutti ñāṉattiṉ kiraṇam āhum. nāṉ eṉum kiraṇattōḍē nāṭṭam uḷ sella sella, nāṉ eṉum kiraṇa nīḷam naśittu nāṉ ñāṉam āmē.

English translation: If anyone asks what the reason is for it [the ego] being destroyed when one investigates what am I, [it is because] the aham-vṛtti [ego-awareness] called ‘I’ is a [reflected] ray of jñāṉa [pure self-awareness]. When together with the ray called ‘I’ the investigation [attention or scrutinising gaze] goes more and more within, the extent [or length] of the ray called ‘I’ being reduced [and eventually destroyed], [what will then remain as] ‘I’ will indeed be jñāṉa [pure self-awareness].

Friday, 31 July 2015

By attending to our ego we are attending to ourself

In certain contexts it is of course necessary for us to distinguish our ego from ourself as we actually are, because our ego is not what we actually are, but drawing this distinction is not necessary or helpful in every context, because what seems to be our ego is nothing other than ourself as we actually are. This seeming paradox can be reconciled by considering the analogy of a rope that seems to be a snake. The snake is not what the rope actually is, but what seems to be the snake is nothing other than the rope as it actually is.

If we were walking along a narrow path in semi-darkness and were to see what seems to be a snake lying on the path ahead of us, we would be afraid to proceed any further and would wait till the snake had moved away. However, if after waiting for a while we see that the snake does not move, we may begin to suspect that it is not actually a snake, in which case we would cautiously move forwards to look at it more closely and carefully. If it were not actually a snake but only a rope, our investigation or close inspection of it would reveal to us that what we had been looking at and afraid of all along was only a rope, so our fear of it would dissolve, and with a sigh of relief we would continue our walk along the path.

Our investigation or close inspection of the seeming snake would begin only after we have begun to suspect that it may actually not be a snake but only something else, such as a rope, so once this suspicion has arisen, we would stop insisting to ourself that it is a snake that we are looking at, but would instead consider it to be a seeming snake and perhaps a rope. This is similar to our position when we begin to investigate ourself, this ego. We investigate ourself or look closely at ourself only because we suspect that we may actually not be the ego that we now seem to be, but may instead be something else altogether. Now that this suspicion has arisen in us, we need not continue insisting to ourself that we are only an ego, but can with an open mind begin investigating ourself in order to find out whether we are this ego or something else.

Saturday, 18 July 2015

Can we experience what we actually are by following the path of devotion (bhakti mārga)?

In a comment on one of my recent articles, In order to understand the essence of Sri Ramana’s teachings, we need to carefully study his original writings, a friend called Sanjay wrote, ‘I have also noticed that many of the current devotees of Bhagavan somehow are not able to reconcile to the advaitic standpoint of Bhagavan, Shankara and others, but are more comfortable to accept and believe in all their own dualistic ideas’, and this triggered a long discussion, with some other friends defending the path of dualistic devotion against what was perceived to be criticism of it by those who are more attracted to Bhagavan’s non-dualistic path of self-investigation (ātma-vicāra). This article is written partly in response to that discussion.

However, I actually began to write this article before that discussion started, and I did so in response to a comment on one of my earlier articles, What is unique about the teachings of Sri Ramana?, in which a friend called Viswanathan wrote:
[...] I feel that if one continues with total faith in whatever path one goes in, be it Bakthi Margam or Jnana Margam, the destination will be the same — realization of self. [...] it appears to me that it might be just an illusory divide in one’s mind that the two paths are different or that one path is circuitous and the other path is shorter.
Though there is some truth in what he wrote, we cannot simply say that the path of devotion (bhakti mārga) and the path of knowledge (jñāna mārga) are not different without analysing what is meant by the term bhakti mārga or ‘the path of devotion’, because bhakti mārga encompasses a wide range of practices, of which only the ultimate one is the same as self-investigation (ātma-vicāra), which is the practice of jñāna mārga.

Thursday, 25 June 2015

The term nirviśēṣa or ‘featureless’ denotes an absolute experience but can be comprehended conceptually only in a relative sense

In a comment on one of my recent articles, The ego is essentially a formless and hence featureless phantom, a friend called ‘Sleepwalker’ quoted a sentence from its thirteenth section, Can self-awareness be considered to be a feature of the ego? (which I had quoted from We are aware of ourself even though we are featureless, the second section in one of my earlier articles, Being attentively self-aware does not entail any subject-object relationship), namely “When we say, ‘I slept peacefully last night’, we are expressing our experience of having been in a state in which we experienced no features”, and asked whether the peacefulness of sleep is not just a feature.

Since the concept of nirviśēṣatva (featurelessness or absence of any distinguishing features) is a significant and useful idea in advaita philosophy, and since it is very relevant to the practice of self-investigation, I decided to write the following detailed answer to this question:

Thursday, 18 June 2015

Prāṇāyāma is just an aid to restrain the mind but will not bring about its annihilation

In a comment on one of my earlier articles, The fundamental law of experience or consciousness discovered by Sri Ramana, a friend called Chimborazo wrote:
Michael, sometimes it is said that the source of the ego (all thoughts, ‘I’-thought) is the heart. And the same heart is said to be the source of the breath. Therefore thoughts and breath have the same source. So if one holds one’s breath no thoughts would rise.

I cannot confirm that and I did not learn it in my experience of meditation. Please could you comment on this or clarify.
In reply to this I wrote a comment in which I explained:

Friday, 5 June 2015

Attending to our ego is attending to its source, ourself

A friend recently wrote to me referring to one of my recent articles, The ego is essentially a formless and hence featureless phantom, and asked:
In your most recent post there appears to be two subtly different forms of Self-Inquiry. On the one hand, there is a section in which we are told to turn the attention directly at the ego-I, investigating it. Doing so, it will disappear and be known to be a phantom. On the other hand, in another section, we are told to investigate the source, or “place” from which the ego-I rises in order to annihilate it.